Walking out this kingdom Part 2

A quick follow up - God does not owe us anything, but wants to Bless us. But He knows what to bless us with!! Sometimes it is not what we want and sometimes it is not in our timing.

The point is that He wants to bless because He is a good God. We need to make sure that our hearts are not at a place where we think we deserve it!!

Walking out this Kingdom

What does it mean to me, a wife, a mother and pastor's wife to really walk out this Kingdom that God has called us to? What does it mean to you? What is required of us - all in different seasons, all dealing with different things?

For me, part of walking out this Kingdom, is sacrifice. Living life in laying it down.

What is the one thing you want more than anything? Are you prepared to be ok if God never provides it? Can you say to the Father, "I am yours my God, created for your purposes and your will. I give you every dream and desire and if they do not come to pass, I will still sing your praises, because of who you are.

"I believe that we can only do this if :

1) We have a real revelation of the cross and all that Jesus did for us, what it truly means to live redeemed because of the selfless actions of an innocent man for our benefit.

2) That we have intimate knowledge of a good Father who has good things for us.

Someone asked me the other day what it means to lay something down but not let go of the hope. Do we place our hope in the "thing" or do we place our hope in our Good Father. That is where our hope should be.

I truly believe that a lot of us walk around subtly believing that God owes us something. I believe that we walk around with "rights".

Well, we don't have any rights and we are not owed anything by God! We are HIS CREATIONS created for HIS PURPOSES. Is this not true Kingdom living? A people totally surrendered to HIS PURPOSES regardless of the cost to us?

To walk the walk of Jesus we surely have to be a people who have totally lain down what we consider to be owed to us. Is that not what He did?

What does God owe you? What have we been carrying around - it may be a physical thing, it may be emotional but we all have something we sometimes put onto God like He owes it to us! Well, He doesn't!

My heart is that I can be selfless and totally surrendered, especially emotionally. In marriage - how many times have I thought to myself: "I deserve an apology! He is in the wrong and I am not." What I would do to be at the place where I can be selfless in that situation.

I want to be about my God's business, the Kingdom, laying down my rights and what "I Deserve" from this life. I deserve NOTHING from this life. I am thankful that Jesus found me, saved me from myself and abundantly blessed me with Life and Joy and Peace and forgiveness.

Have we overlooked these blessings because we are too hung up about what we do not have?

We are nothing without our God. Let us be thankful, for what we have, for who God is. Let us pursue intimacy and holiness. Let us learn what it means to be totally surrendered. Let us be Kingdom people.

Letting go...

It has been so long since I entered a blog - but I guess there is something in everyone that wants to dialogue the thoughts that are on my heart.

Recently, I have found myself in a familiar process. I believe that I will call it "letting go". It is amazing that as a christian, God's spirit prepares you in advance for things to come. He does it so gently but it is absolutely necessary.

Rebecca, my oldest, is turning 14 soon. She just found out that she has been accepted into the best high school in the city, a huge accomplishment. She is also 12 days away from leaving on a two week trip to France.

Something about these two major events sent this little mama into a spin. All of a sudden I began to feel helpless and overwhelmed at the prospect of my children growing up. Of course, in typical Debra style..suddenly I had visuals of all three children waving goodbye and heading off to college. In a blink of an eye, they were all grown and already out of the house! I found myself weeping at every moment I had to myself (not many but still...). Why was I feeling so vulnerable? I also began to see Becca in a different light. She was starting to leave in a sense - not doing anything wrong, but slowly starting to exercise those wings of independence. Poor kid - I became so ultra sensitive she would just look at me wrong and I would react!!

God began to show me what was going on and that it was good and right. I started to let go. I realized the inevitable and in a moment released my little girl just a little more. I have had to do it slowly over the years, to the nurse - straight after she was born (uh oh ...more tears...so pathetic), again when she wanted to stop nursing, when she took her first steps, when she stayed with a friend when Steve and I went on a ministry trip, when her sister arrived, when she went to kindergarten...the list goes on.

I am tender and a little raw, but delighted that I have this joy. She is a magnificent young woman who belongs to our Father. As a friend of mine recently reminded me, (without even knowing) they are just ours to look after for a while....

I will not let these years slip away for any of my children. They are precious - sounds cliched hey? but it is true - in a instant they are gone! Young mommies - be encouraged - be disciplined to enjoy moments with your little ones. I know it is impossible to enjoy them all!! But there are many many moments you can enjoy. I have a number of years still with Hannah - my little precious and Cade, my smooshy , Becs in just four short years you may choose to fly... but until then - I commit to enjoy you - hormones and all because you are precious and strong and beautiful - true to your name.

Thanks for listening to these ramblings of my heart :)