Letting go...

It has been so long since I entered a blog - but I guess there is something in everyone that wants to dialogue the thoughts that are on my heart.

Recently, I have found myself in a familiar process. I believe that I will call it "letting go". It is amazing that as a christian, God's spirit prepares you in advance for things to come. He does it so gently but it is absolutely necessary.

Rebecca, my oldest, is turning 14 soon. She just found out that she has been accepted into the best high school in the city, a huge accomplishment. She is also 12 days away from leaving on a two week trip to France.

Something about these two major events sent this little mama into a spin. All of a sudden I began to feel helpless and overwhelmed at the prospect of my children growing up. Of course, in typical Debra style..suddenly I had visuals of all three children waving goodbye and heading off to college. In a blink of an eye, they were all grown and already out of the house! I found myself weeping at every moment I had to myself (not many but still...). Why was I feeling so vulnerable? I also began to see Becca in a different light. She was starting to leave in a sense - not doing anything wrong, but slowly starting to exercise those wings of independence. Poor kid - I became so ultra sensitive she would just look at me wrong and I would react!!

God began to show me what was going on and that it was good and right. I started to let go. I realized the inevitable and in a moment released my little girl just a little more. I have had to do it slowly over the years, to the nurse - straight after she was born (uh oh ...more tears...so pathetic), again when she wanted to stop nursing, when she took her first steps, when she stayed with a friend when Steve and I went on a ministry trip, when her sister arrived, when she went to kindergarten...the list goes on.

I am tender and a little raw, but delighted that I have this joy. She is a magnificent young woman who belongs to our Father. As a friend of mine recently reminded me, (without even knowing) they are just ours to look after for a while....

I will not let these years slip away for any of my children. They are precious - sounds cliched hey? but it is true - in a instant they are gone! Young mommies - be encouraged - be disciplined to enjoy moments with your little ones. I know it is impossible to enjoy them all!! But there are many many moments you can enjoy. I have a number of years still with Hannah - my little precious and Cade, my smooshy , Becs in just four short years you may choose to fly... but until then - I commit to enjoy you - hormones and all because you are precious and strong and beautiful - true to your name.

Thanks for listening to these ramblings of my heart :)