The vulnerable place of humility

God has been taking me on such an amazing journey of humility and surrender - basically I believe taking me to a deeper level of dependence by revealing to me even more or again because I have forgotten that I really am nothing without him. This season has lead to me to some questions:

Why are we still insecure? Why do we seek praise from others? Why do we question our worth in God? Because We have forgotten or have not fully grasped what it means to find complete and whole value and purpose in the king Jesus and who He is rather than find identity in what We do.

I don't know if it is because my role has been changing personally with my children growing up and also in the life of the church as we release leaders who now do what brought me purpose and value. But God has been at work in my heart.

It is incredibly hard to completely surrender to Jesus - to hold onto nothing that can bring us security or value, purpose or identity- but to completely surrender and say "I honestly am nothing without him. I am nothing." How humiliating and vulnerable a place that is - it leaves us feeling exposed and weak. It leaves us desperate and dependent on Our father MORE THAN EVER.

Pride is a bigger issue than we give credit. It prevents us from fully surrendering to our king so that He can do what He wants in us - making us to be His. It prevents us from being completely dependent on our Father - as scripture encourages us to. If we are holding onto something of ourselves for identity we will never be fully His. In order for us to accomplish what He has for us all - we need to humble ourselves a fresh and a new - realizing we really are pathetic without Him - there is nothing in us NOTHING of value in our flesh - the value of who we are and what we bring is all rooted in Jesus!!

I want to let go of all I have held onto to bring purpose and identity to my life because of insecurity in myself. I want to release it and surrender. I am His - everything good about me is because of Him and only Him. Everything good about me is to ultimately bring Him glory not me!! I am a sinner - in desperate need of a savior - not just once but every day.